well... I'm sitting here in my bed... I have a terrible cold... and I have to take a medication every day so I don't get a build up of acid in my system... I'm getting less of that than I deserve. and more good than I deserve too.... Life is good!!!
the last 4 months or so are all a blur... every day, seeing if I'd feel good or not... what would happen in my life.. i just had to trust God... It's been hard to keep track of time. only thing I can count the days with is all my books. =P I've read more in the last 4 months than most teenagers have in their entire lives...
about two years ago I got saved... in church at TCBC, Pastors sermon just sort of hit me like a cannon ball... right to the head. he preached on trusting God with our lives... and giving Him everything... I thought to myself... did I trust Him?? Was I willing to give up everything to follow Him??? I spent that week praying.. reading His word... I read one of my favorite verses. Romans 10:9.. for if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead... you will be saved... and it hit me. I'd never really understood that. I had lived my life, going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays.. I'd get home and forget everything, and just go about my day. thinking. 'I'll have time for God later' ... ... Romans 10;9 (that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved) doesn't just mean saying it... but really taking it to heart. believing it.. God saved us from our sins. when we were not worth it. He died for ME!! after that week of meditation and prayer, that God would have mercy on me, and take me back... I saw changes in myself. I didn't always answer with a harsh tong... ALWAYS... =P I found myself, with His help, being helpful and kind. and I had, for the first time in my life a REAL starvation for his word... another sermon... pastor said, every breath we take if a gift from Him. we don't deserve one more breath. but He gives it to us anyway... i found myself praying mornings, and thanking Him for the gift of life... he gave us our life... i had to give something back to Him. I didn't deserve any of it!! did I believe that He was Lord?? had I given my life to Him? Fully? not just twice a week for 3 hours.. but ALL the time. before I was saved, I couldn't see myself trusting in Him at all. I was all for myself. not even for my family. My life was terrible. I had a really bad temper. and "attitude". God has helped me with it though. =D and even with my health issues. I have a peace that I had never had before... anyway... life is hard. but with Him. we can do it. and ONLY through Him, can we do it.
Man we don't deserve Him!!!
---#*Eudoxia*#
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